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Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Im so brave. i cant believe it. I've did it before april ends. : D Though the reply wasnt what i wanted. I feel instantly relaxed. I'm afraid if some car hit me today, 1st may, you'll never know anything that's being buried down. And my sister and my mom wont know how much i loved them.
Super shuang can, i'm using my sisters Mac Book now, and she's not at home. im going to get one too. Near future. : DDD
And i reckon i should stop being so emotional. I should stop having 'wet-eyes' and 'acidic nose'. The other night, my sis and i were talking to each other, just before we turned in. talking in pitch darkness about our problems, my future, her wedding etc. And, i told her i love her. Fucking pai seh can. And with no apparent reason, i teared. YES. i feel tears rolling down. Super 'wo nang' OH~ i guess that's because i havent told old anyone i loved them and meant it so much. And On Saturday, i tagged along with her to try on her wedding gowns. Her friends mentioned about me being super duper happy because my sis's getting married and thus i can finally have a room all to myself. Then i popped a question to one of her female friend.
" Do you have a sister? Be it younger or elder?"
" No. I dont. Only have a elder brother."
" Then you wont know how i feel and what i am feeling now."
Imagine, a beloved sister, closest friend, private confidante, an adviser, a fear neutralising machine. She meant more than that. It just wont be the same anymore. I'm sad not because she's going to bring the damn moutain of clothes, bags and shoes over. But it's the presence and warmth will no longer be felt beside me. I dont know if all of you got what i mean.
But things wont last forever right? even diamonds tarnish over time. ( oh i love diamonds) We're gona die someday. : / Everyone's gona leave. Therefore, we should cherish what we hav now and hold it tight. ( cliche : / ) Yea.
What are the grudges that cant be solved? Tell me! Dont laugh at me for being naive and my stupidity. Cz, that's what makes a kind-hearted karine. Chee~
signing off hons. : D
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